


Fifty Shades of Wade

by Skybloodfox



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Woman (Comic), spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dirty Talk, F/F, F/M, First Time, Genderswap, I am really, I am so sorry, Multiple Orgasms, NSFW, Rule 34, graphic depections of sex, heat - Freeform, male/female - Freeform, really - Freeform, sorry!!!, this took waay to long to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-03-13 18:41:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skybloodfox/pseuds/Skybloodfox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Penny Parker's 21st birthday and she has a secret</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifty Shades of Wade

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Penny Parker/Spiderwoman, Wade Wilson/Deadpool, Wanda Wilson/Lady Deadpool. They belong to the folks at Marvel who have a lot more money than I.
> 
> Warning: Het. Male/Female. First time. Dirty sex. Dirty talk. Graphic depictions of sex. This is smut really. Genderswap, Rule 34. AU. NSFW!!!
> 
> Notes: This fic, oh my god. I am a horrible person. This is a dirty fic. I have no explanation. I saw literally one panel of adult Penny Parker and Wanda Wilson side by side and this… this was spawned. Okay, basically this takes place in an alternate universe where the genders of the characters have been swapped and because Wade can jump universes and he’s slipped into a genderswaped universe.

Fifty Shades of Wade (I’m so sorry!)

Penny Parker has a secret.

It was her twenty-first birthday and Wanda had promised to take her out for drinks, but Wanda was still busy with on a mission and would miss her birthday. At least that was what the half-garbled text message Penny received had said.

But that was okay because Penny had a secret, and that secret was sitting on the edge of the bed of a very expensive hotel room, the Four Season’s hotel room, watching her every movement as she slipped in through the open window. Next to the bed was an unopened bottle of champagne chilling in ice and two tall flute glasses, next to that was a bouquet of a dozen red roses.

Penny was glad she was wearing her mask as she walked through the room on silent feet, examining the wide flat screen TV, and the small kitchen area. She took a peek into the bathroom and almost melted at the giant bathtub and view of the city. Satisfied, she left the bathroom and went back to the bed.

She stood, her hands clasped behind her back, her legs straight, her head cocked to the side as she stared back at her secret that seemed to be hypnotized by her. Her spider suite clung to her in ways that at first had made her uncomfortable and shy, but gave her such freedom of movement it was unreal.

“You’re beautiful,” the secret croaked, his voice horse and husky.

Penny ducked her head, blushing under her mask.

“You haven’t seen me.” She said, her voice soft.

“I see you move, how you move.”

“You move pretty good too,” Penny smiled. That was true. Her secret was a master fighter that had left her stunned and comparing him with Wanda’s skills.

Her secret chuckled dryly.

“I am by no means ‘pretty’.”

Penny took a deep breath.

“I’m going to take off my mask.” She said, slipping off her mask and shaking her short brown locks. She blinked, blushing as her secret seemed stunned.

“Fuck,” He groaned, shifting on the bed.

Penny stepped closer to her secret and he straightened up, his hands reaching out to gently grasp her wrists, which seemed so much smaller in his hands, pulling her closer until she stood between his legs.

“Why aren’t you out with your boyfriend?” Her secret asked, gently rubbing the slits on her wrist, almost like he had practiced this before.

She shivered.

“Don’t have one.” Penny whispered.

“Liar.”

“Well, it is true. I mean, I do have a girlfriend,” Penny winked, twisting in her secret’s arms and sitting on his thigh.

He groaned again, his hands letting go of her wrists and instead placing his right hand on her knee and his left hand moving behind her, his had rubbing the muscles in her lower back.

“A girlfriend? And why isn’t she here?” He asked.

“She’s busy with work,” Penny whispered, biting her bottom lip, reaching for her secret’s mask.

“What sort of work?” Her secret asked, letting her push his mask up until it was just above his nose.

Penny smiled, squirming on his thigh.

“She’s a mercenary.” Penny said, her hand resting against his chest, her fingers spreading as she felt his breathing increase.

“And her name?” Her secret asked, dipping his head, his lips a breath away from hers.

“Wanda Wilson,” Penny whispered, closing the gap between them.

“Hmmmm,” Her secret hummed, pressing his lips against hers. “I hear she’s quite deadly.”

“Very, very, deadly.” Penny said, her tongue flickering against his lips.

“I should be careful then, huh?” Her secret asked hotly, his tongue lapping hers.

Penny wanted to press her knees together but he wouldn’t let her.

“Uh… huh…” Penny moaned when the hand that was on her back moved to cup her side, his fingers rubbing her side through her costume. The hand that had been on her knee had slid inward toward her thighs, gently forcing apart her legs. She gasped, her hips rising, her toes tip toeing as his hand cupped her sex through her costume, his fingers sliding against the slickening material. This situation, his voice, his heat, it was having a devastating effect on her and if she was honest with herself, she had been looking forward to this.

“You don’t wear anything under your costume?” he mused, dipping his head to kiss her jaw, his teeth tugging on the fabric of the suite at her neck.

“I… uh…” Penny gasped, throwing her head back as he pushed his fingers against the material, rubbing and spreading his fingers until they, and the material, were wet.

“C’mon Spidey, you don’t wear this out to fight criminals, do you? Whatever would they think knowing a thin piece of fabric was keeping you away from them?” Her secret panted into her ear.

Penny felt herself blush crimson and gasped when he found that sweet spot through her costume.

“Wade!” Penny cried, grabbing hold of his bicep with one hand and his wrist with her other hand, holding on as he worked his fingers against her cloth covered clit.

“Ooooh, I knew it had to be near,” Wade chuckled. “Do you feel all warm yet? Your belly filling with heat and starting to spread?” Wade asked, rubbing his fingers lazily. “Do you know what that means? That means it’s going to be a good one, a good one that’ll make your legs shake and your insides, your hot, slick, insides squeeze down, but there’ll be nothing inside, not yet. Not until I make sure you are nice and wet and slick and you are shaking and spreading your legs for me.”

Penny shook her head, biting her lip bloody as she listened to Wade’s words. She could feel that warmth, that heat, and Wade’s words were making it all that much worse.

“Wade!”

“Yeah Penny?” Wade purred, his hand on her waist sliding up to cup her breast, gently stroking and squeezing the soft flesh through her costume.

“I’m gonna, I-I,”

“Go ahead baby girl, you just get yourself nice and wet so I can have something sweet when I peel you out of your costume and lick that pussy of yours,” Wade hissed into her ear.

Her mouth falling open, her eyes squeezing shut, she rocked her hips against Wade’s fingers, than gasped, throwing her head back as that heat in her belly suddenly spread and the tension she hadn’t realised was gripping her body snapped under Wade’s fingers, words, and lips.

She was panting before she realised it and Wade was kissing her forehead, his arms wrapped around her now, comforting her.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Y-Yeah, it’s not been like that before.” Penny swallowed, feeling her heart pound against her chest.

“Not with Wanda?” Wade asked, amused.

“Or by myself,” Penny said, finally catching her breath she blinked when she realised Wade was staring at her. “What?”

“Can I see?” Wade asked. “Maybe later?”

Penny blushed, her ears burning. She nodded silently.

“Are you ready for more? Or do you want to take a bath?” Wade asked casually and Penny smiled nervously.

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do now. I mean, I had imagined it, and god knows the stories Wanda’s told me, but… I don’t quite know what to do now.” Penny admitted.

“Well, why don’t you slip out of your costume and have a nice hot shower?” Wade suggested, grinning.

“O-oh… you don’t want to join me?” Penny asked, glancing down at the tell-tale tent in Wade’s pants.

“Oh yeah, my buddy here and I want to join you,” Wade laughed, reaching down to grip his cock, trying to readjust it to ease some of the pressure. “I just thought you might want to have a scrub down first…” Wade said, his voice trailing off as he watched Penny. Her gaze was focused on his hand, her tongue was licking her bloodied bottom lip as he gripped himself.

“Can I touch it?” Penny asked absently then slammed her hand over her mouth, her wide eyes meeting Wade’s costumed ones.

His mouth was parted.

“Yeah. Anything you want.” Wade said gutturally. He cleared his throat. “But I need to calm down for a few minutes.”

“Okay.” Penny said.

She didn’t move. She was still staring at Wade’s lips now, her eyes falling half-lidded.

He grinned, dipping his head to kiss her.

Penny wrapped her arms around his neck, putting her all into the kiss, their tongues clashing. Wade tasted good and Penny couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp when she felt Wade’s arm wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. She could feel his erection against her thigh, all hard and hot through the material.

Suddenly he stopped the kiss, panting as he looked away.

“Okay. Okay, you Ms. SpiderMinx need to go have a shower because I, ah, I am not going to last long.” Wade said, covering his eyes.

Penny couldn’t hold back the smile.

“Well, I guess I’d better give you some time with your buddy,” She said, rubbing her thigh teasingly against his hardness and blushing deeply when Wade groaned, thrusting against her.

He stopped and sucked in a ragged breath.

“Shower. Now.”

“Yes, yes, I heard you.” Penny smiled, standing gracefully and leaving Wade alone as she slipped into the bathroom and quietly closed the door.

She flattened herself against the door and tried to calm her racing heart.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god? What are you doing Penny? This is insane, but so freakin’ hot, oh my god girl, you should not be doing this.” Penny whimpered, rubbing her face. If only she could text Wanda and ask for her advice, or, or suggestion, or something but Wanda didn’t know about Wade because if she did, they would be fighting each other because, well, honestly? Wanda was a bit possessive and she didn’t really like sharing.

Sure Penny was graceful and elegant out there, but inside she was shaking.  
Wade terrified her in a way that made her knees feel like jelly and her stomach felt like it was full of butterflies. Honestly, Penny never thought of having sex with a guy, she was never really interested in them, but with Wade… well… she was a little curious. She could be curious, right? That was allowed wasn’t it? Wanda was curious, she’d told Penny all sorts of stories when they were together and said that it was perfectly okay to be curious about men and women.

Still, Penny would be lying if she wasn’t just a little bit nervous.

But mostly excited.

The feelings would balance each other out and speaking of feelings…  
Penny blushed crimson, rubbing her thighs. She hadn’t expected Wade to do that, especially through her costume. She had never thought of that, not to mention his voice and the words he said.

She squirmed as she felt her suit sticking to her thigh.

Penny shook her head and pushed off of the door, turning her attention to the shower instead. She hadn’t noticed it before but there were four glass walls across from the bathtub, and it had one of those showerheads in the middle that mimicked rain. There was an assortment of shampoo and conditioner and body lotions along a… was that seriously a ledge in the shower to sit on?

Penny glanced over her shoulder at the door then started pulling off her costume. She dropped it to the floor, shivering at the cool air in the bathroom. She wrapped her arms around her breasts and stepped into the shower, blinking when a digital display popped up.

It provided the most preferred heating shower temperature. Penny shrugged and tapped the display, gasping when hot water hit her body then sighed happily. It was the perfect temperature and the shower quickly filled with steam, the glass quickly fogging.

Penny tipped her head back, slicking her brown locks back and was so engrossed in the feeling of the water covering her body, hitting her shoulders and back, sliding down her belly and her thighs to her feet—and the amazing heated floor—it was so soothing and warm, she didn’t hear the bathroom door open quietly, or Wade as he opened the shower door and slipped inside, closing it behind him.

As soon as his feet hit the water, Penny ducked her head, her eyes opening as muscular arms wrapped around her waist. His arms were badly scarred, much like Wanda’s, and Penny distantly wondered if they came out of the same secret Canadian laboratory. She traced her fingers along one scar and felt Wade kiss the top of her head.

“Better?” Penny asked and held back the gasp as she felt his cock, hot and hard against her back.

“Better.” Wade said.

Penny glanced over her shoulder and blinked when she saw his mask still covering the upper part of his face.

“Are you going to wear your mask even in the shower?”

“Of course.” Wade said, licking the back of her ear lobe and smiling as she shivered against him.

“Spoilsport,” Penny gasped as one of his hands found her stomach and gently, almost lazily, drug his fingers around her belly button. Penny thought it was a spiral formation but before she could figure it out, he grasp her side with both his hands. Hesitantly, Penny placed her hands on his, and swallowed heavily when his hands smoothly moved up her sides and cupped her breast with each hand.

“Oh, oh,” Penny gasped, pushing back against Wade as he gently squeezed her breasts. She grasped his hands, moaning as he kneaded her breasts.

Wade ground against her, groaning under his breath.

Penny couldn’t stop the moan as his finger and thumbs found her nipples, rolling and gently squeezing the sensitive peaks.

“That feel good, baby girl?” Wade whispered against her ear.

“Uh, huh,” Penny whispered, one of her hands leaving Wade’s hand to travel down her stomach, cupping her own sex, her fingers finding her clit. She dropped her head, her eyes closing as she circled the nub with slow, circular strokes.

“Aww, I thought you’d let me watch.” Wade mused, one hand still on her breast and the other moving down to join hers. He nudged her hand away and started rubbing her clit, smiling at the gasp then loud, low moan.

Penny grabbed his hand as that feeling, that warmth, settled in her belly. She panted, squirming on his hand as the water from the shower covered both of them and, oh, she was getting there, she was getting there. Between squeezing of her breasts and that firm rubbing, she was close.

Wade’s flicked his wrist and Penny’s jaw dropped open as he slipped first one finger inside of her, then followed by a second, his fingers rubbing her insides before slipping out, his palm rubbing her clit before he pushed his fingers back inside.

She let go of his hands and braced herself against the shower wall, leaning forward, spreading her legs and gasping as her hips rocked following his hand. She pressed her forehead against the wall, glancing back at Wade, at his heavily scarred body, at that wicked grin on his face.

She was so close.

She clenched around Wade’s fingers, her legs trying to close around his hand.  
And then he stopped. He eased his fingers from inside of her and let go of her breast.

She frowned, her body shaking.

“W-Wade?”

“Sit down.”

Penny blinked.

“What?”

Wade reached next to her and turned off the shower. He then pointed to the small ledge built into the shower.

“Have a seat.”

For a moment, Penny wasn’t sure she could move.

“O-Okay,” She whispered, pushing off from the shower wall and turned, facing Wade.

Her eyes looked up and down his body, her gaze focusing on his cock.

“Are we—”

“Not yet. Have a seat,” Wade smiled. “Trust me. You’re gonna love this.”

Licking her lips, Penny sat on the ledge, suddenly eye level with Wade’s cock.  
It was bigger than she thought it would be.

He kneeled, his hands grasping her knees.

She saw him wink under his mask before he pushed her legs further apart. Her eyes widened as she gripped the ledge and cried out as he kissed her swollen pussy then parted her lips, his tongue lapping at her clit.

“Wade!” Penny cried, lifting her legs up higher, arching her back, opening herself to Wade’s tongue and his fingers that were pushing inside of her once more. There was no way in hell she was going to last like this.

She came, shuddering against him, whimpering and moaning as he kept licking and fucking her on his fingers until it became too much and she pushed against his shoulder.

“T-too much.” She panted, her body positively tingling and oversensitive.

Wade sat back on his heels, wiping the back of his mouth with his hand.

“Can you cum again?” He asked and Penny swallowed, trying to remember the right words. Her mouth was so dry.

“Yeah, I, I can. Not right away, in a little bit… but I’ll be ruined tomorrow.”  
Wade smiled, rubbing the outside of her thighs.

“That’s alright. The room is ours for the next day too.”

“What, what about you?” Penny asked, nodding at his now leaking erection. Precum was starting to drip from the tip.

“Got a bit too excited, need to calm down too.” Wade said.

“But you haven’t cum yet.” Penny pointed out, frowning.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s one of my kinks; holding off until my partner is all squirmy and whimpering and begging and pleading and out of their fucking mind with pleasure. Then I do my thing.” Wade grinned.

“You… are a very bad man.” Penny whispered.

Wade blinked at her, his head tilting before he smirked.

“You have no idea.”

Penny shivered and watched as Wade stood up, looking around the bathroom and gripping his cock squeezing it before letting go as he obviously found what he was looking for just outside the shower glass. He grabbed a towel and held it open to Penny.

“Wanna dry off?”

Penny nodded.

She let her feet hit the shower floor and shivered as the water clung to her body, cooling her as she stood up, her nipples hardening in the now cool air. Wade wrapped her in the towel and used it to rub her sides, her stomach, her arms. Penny took the opportunity to kiss him, tasting herself on his lips.

She licked her lips when she pulled back.

“Go on now, into the bedroom,” Wade whispered and Penny smiled, leaving the shower and padding into the bedroom, drying her hair with the towel as she crossed the soft carpeted floor. She felt good, warm inside, and so utterly relaxed.

The sheets had been pulled back, the pillows fluffed. Everything was ready.  
Suddenly some of that ease, that relaxation left her bones and those butterflies that had disappeared? Yeah, they were back in

“You okay?” Wade asked.

Penny finished drying her skin and tossed the towel onto the floor, slipping under the covers and pulling it up to her chest, tucking the duvet under her armpits as Wade came in, drying his arms. He tossed the towel onto the floor and got into the bed, covering himself with the duvet and stretching his long body.

“This has got to be the softest bed ever,” Wade sighed happily and Penny hummed in agreement. “You want to have some champagne?”

Penny glanced at the bottle on ice and shook her head.

“I thought before I did, but I don’t think I want to now.”

“Are you nervous?” Wade rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his arm.

“I wasn’t when, you know, we were doing everything,” Penny smiled shyly. “But now…”

“Now you’re in a bed and you’ve got butterflies?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you still want to go all the way?” Wade asked curiously.

“I do, I’m just nervous.” Penny explained as she snuggled closer to Wade.

“You don’t have to be nervous,” Wade murmured, tipping his head to kiss her.

Penny wrapped her arms around Wade’s neck, pulling him down on top of her and she moaned, wriggling underneath him, his weight as he covered her with his large frame. He was so much hotter, his skin almost burning hers and his hands, his hands were everywhere. He had one hand supporting himself, bracing against the bed next to her head, while his other rubbed her side, moulded her breast to his hand, teased and taunted her body as she squirmed, gasping into his mouth as she squirmed, spreading her legs, tearing her mouth away as he let go of her breast and grabbed her thigh, hitching it up high around his waist, her free foot trying to find leverage against the covers and blankets as she felt him, his cock, hot against her lips.

“Tell me no now because once I start, I won’t stop until it’s over,” Wade panted against her mouth.

Penny let go of his neck and instead pushed his mask up, revealing his blue eyes.

“Yes,” She whispered, her gaze flickering between his.

“So fucking sexy,” Wade groaned, letting go of her thigh to reach down, rubbing his cock against her entrance.

Penny couldn’t help herself. She pushed against his chest, looking down, watching with wide eyes what he was doing when she felt his breath on her ear, his lips on her earlobe.

He bit down on the soft flesh, hard, while he thrust his cock in, distracting her as she cried out.

“Ow! Wade!” Penny said, confused if she could hit Wade for biting her, or try to remember to breathe because she could feel Wade in her, his heat was scorching her insides. He felt a lot bigger then she thought he was.

Wade was panting raggedly against her ear, his arm was shaking, his body was shaking as he tried to keep control.

“So… fucking… good.” He finally groaned.

“Wade?” She breathed, trying to lift her hips, inadvertently spreading herself under him. There was a pressure in her lower stomach, so different than the other times. “Wade? Can you fucking move please? I need you to move,” Penny said then moaned when he did just that, slowly pulling out then pushing back in.

It wasn’t good enough; it only made the knot worse.

“F-faster.” She said then smiled when he flexed his hips, his hips rolling against hers.

Oh yeah. Definitely that. Penny liked that now if she could just figure out what to do with her legs—

Without thinking it, she wrapped her legs around Wade’s narrow waist and she moaned again, this timer higher as she grabbed the blankets, pressing her head against the pillow, her eyes fluttering shut as she thrust against Wade’s hips, meeting his hips.

Penny had always thought the whole idea of comparing moaning and groaning during sex to a porno was really stupid, but Wade was grunting as he fucked her, his jaw clenched, and Penny, well, that little knot she had earlier was finally, finally starting to unravel a little at a time and it felt deliriously good.

She just needed a little extra something.

“H-Hey Wade?” She hiccupped against his ear.

He raised his head, his blue eyes almost glazed with lust.

“Wat-watch this,” Penny purred, her hand moving down, touching the base of his cock, feeling a little shocked as she felt him slide in and out of her, and then turned her fingers to her clit.

Wade watched her fingers, pushing back the duvet to better see.

Wade watching, his hips suddenly faster, a bit harder, her fingers, everything finally made that damn knot untie.

Penny didn’t scream, she didn’t moan or groan or whimper, instead she bit the pillow as hard as she could, her body shaking, seeing little stars behind her shut eyes as Wade’s pace picked up and felt him shudder as well.

When she managed to get her eyes open, she was panting and her body was slightly shaking.

She knew she was completely and utterly ruined for the next day. Good luck getting her out of the bed anytime soon. She was going to stay there.

Wade was partially collapsed on top of her, grinning from ear to ear. He looked deliriously happy.

With her last bit of strength, Penny pushed against his shoulder, making him roll onto his back. She snuggled up next to him, her head on his chest as she covered them both with the duvet.

“Sleep now,” Penny mumbled as Wade laughed and she let the exhaustion take hold.

~~

“How did it go?”

“Good, really good, absolutely fucking amazing if you want my honest opinion.” Wade grinned. “How about you?”

Wanda smirked. “Your puppy’s gonna be dreaming of me for weeks.”

Wade and Wanda were in a bar drinking together. They had known each other for a long time, but when they both ended up with partners, namely Peter and Penny, they had gotten to talking and both had admitted feeling a bit guilty about being the only ones their partners had any experience with.

“I hope you weren’t too rough with Pete, he doesn’t have any healing abilities.” Wade said thoughtfully as he drank his bourbon.

“Neither does Penny, but no, I wasn’t too rough with him.” Wanda said, knocking back the shot of tequila.

“She’s a sweet girl.” Wade said then suddenly gagged as his head fell forward onto the bar counter. A twelve inch army knife sticking through his neck.

“And she’s all mine.” Wanda said as Wade started jerking the blade out.

“Surs,” Wade coughed, pulling the knife out. He tossed it on the bar counter. “Sure. We should do this again someday.”

“Maybe once a year.” Wanda suggested.

“Let us toast: to the Spideys!” Wade said, raising his glass.

“To the Spideys!” Wanda said as they clinked their glasses together and downed their drinks.

End

**Author's Note:**

> End Note: I will now be returning to my regular smut. Thank you very much!


End file.
